Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Perspective Gained.

My son is a tummy sleeper. Has been since about week six. I am now past the guilt part of that statement. If he hadn't slept on his tummy we would still be waking up every 20 minutes. The problem is that when he started to roll over he did it backwards than most babies. He went from his tummy to his back. Well most of you know that when it is done the opposite way (back to tummy) their is the startle cry followed by the little quiet aah ha moment. Well for us it has been not so wonderful. Travis struggled with what I would call fear of being on his back (I think from the beginning) but it came to a head when he rolled over and was not able to get back over. This issue has finally resolved itself as he can roll continually now. We are now rolling on to our next issue. The issue of getting stuck in the "L" position of the crib. Let me tell you...mommy is tired.

My once peaceful sleeper is now getting up twice at night and the only way to comfort him back to sleep is to nurse him. I don't mind the feedings but the fact that he is waking up more than once is wearing on me. Now don't get me wrong for his age group he is still two months out from technically being cut off from night feedings but this mommy wouldn't mind if he dropped the need sooner. Campbell quit night feeding right at 9 months and mommy actually helped that one along because one night for the first time she didn't want to go right back to sleep. So mommy decided she was going to let Campbell cry it out, which lasted 20 minutes. Luckily, the next night no night waking for milk. Hopefully this will happen as easily with Travis...but I am doubtful. OK, I know what some of you are thinking....let him cry it out now. Yes, I have tried that on the second waking but it just kills me to know that he is just stuck and scared. It isn't as simple as him just waking for milk the poor little guy is stuck. I have tried to let him cry and work himself out of that darn "L" position but that just intensifies the screaming...which when you have a toddler next door, there is the potential to have the mother load of screaming begin if she is awoken from dreamland. So I promptly arrive at his crib to help him out. What we do for our babies and besides the getting stuck phase will soon pass.

One morning (early) in my tired state I started browsing the blog world. I stopped by some of my favorite sites and then happened to come across a particular "blog roll" that lead me to a blog based strictly on its name. The name intrigued me. Little did I know that I would soon be given a gut check when I came across surviving life's curveballs.

This couple's blog brought me to tears and made me question how such a thing could happen; how tragic. They also have inspired me. They are so full of faith and they are able to get up and put their feet on the floor each day. This couple lost their beautiful daughter while she slept (SIDS) and I am sure that their hearts will be hollow for a very long time. I would imagine that if that Richard and Jenn read this particular post they would have inspiring words for me but would yearn for such a problem. My struggle seems so insignificant now having read their story and visiting Lilly's Pad. I must admit that I had a reality check and don't view Travis' sleep issues to be a problem but rather a small blessing that I bear.

I continue to be at odds with how SIDS happens. Lance and I suffered through several miscarriages but we both agree that nothing could be worse than losing a child after you have held them, loved them, watched them grow and learn. I know that people die. It is a part of life but when that someone is so small it just seems so unkind and senseless. I think that one day I will ask God why such a life was taken, why her parents had to experience joy and pain in their and her lifetime. Only He will have the answer. So for now, I count my tiny night owl as a blessing in my life. I also pray for continued peace in Richard and Jenn's lives; people I have never met but who touched my life the morning I came across their blog on a "blog roll."

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