Monday, June 29, 2009

Stickers for Listening?

So you know the drill. Some mom's do a chore chart where stars are added to the chart each time a chore is complete. X amount of stars = a prize or allowance. Other mom's do the stickers for "learning to potty" either applying to a chart or to the actual potty. Well I have decided to try the sticker chart to develop better listening skills that will hopefully help with the disobedience I am noticing from Campbell. This sticker chart is just for her because I dont think Travis could understand yet. NOT sure she does. BUT she does love stickers. So I figured that she would get a sticker for everytime she listened to mommy and behaved/obeyed/made good choices. Good idea? I think so on one hand but on the other I am wondering if I am building a "reward me" mindset.

Well I want to try something because this constant bickering, raising my voice and disicpling is wearing on me. Heavens she is only going on three. She cant be terrible right...then again there are days it seems as if she is and I just envision a 13 year old not respecting me because she never heard the word "no" or was corrected for disobeying.

I must say that she did say something to me when I had to get after her that just broke my heart. Right now one of the things she does which is a whole different post is that she is constantly taking off her clothes. I know it is hot outside but when I say she is taking her clothes off I mean down to her bare nothings. It drives me crazy!!!!! So when I came downstairs today to find her naked yet again for the 4th time today I went in and told her that she had "not listened" that mommy had to tell her three times to keep her clothes on now she was naked again. I gave her a spank and had her dress herself. I tried to explain (again) when it is apporiate to take our clothes/panties off and right smack dab in the middle of it she opens her sweet little mouth with tears running down her face and looking me straight in the eyes to say to me "mommy I just try to make you happy." Oh the shudder that ran down me at that very moment. All I could do was sweep her up in my arms and hug her tightly telling her that "she" did make me happy. Every day and in every way. I told her that she was a good person but she made a bad choice/decision. That she did make me happy. I had tears running down my face. I just felt so terrible. Is being naked so bad? We are at home. She has never taken her clothes off in public. Was I shaming her? Was I being too hard on her. UGH the guilt!!!

Once we got dressed and tears wiped away I suggested to her that she tell me why she wants her clothes off and I got the ole "I dont know mommy."
I just sat there shaking my head, I just dont know myself.

So back to the stickers for listening. I whiped up a sheet of construction paper and told her that everytime she "used her ears, opened her heart and mind" and behaved that she would recieve a sticker. She was really excited about the idea of getting a sticker and mentioned that she would "use my ears mommy." I was excited thinking that today would be a good day. Well it turned out pretty good but as you will see. She only got one sticker today. But I am not rewarding for plain listening. I am only rewarding for listening and obeying. I hope that makes sense to you mommy's out there because there is a difference. Examples. Listening and obeying would be when mommy asks a little girl to pick up the basket of dolls that she is done playing with and place the dolls in the basket back on top of the toy box. When she listens to what is said and completes the task w/o whining I might add then a sticker is rewarded. Or if at nap time I ask her to quickly go up the stairs and sit on the potty and she does that then a sticker is given. But for plain listening like me reading a book to her or just talking with her while she plays is another type of listening skill. One she doesn't seem to have an issue with or I for that matter. It all boils down to the disobedience and from what I am seeing being disobedient results from not listening. Testing her limits I would say.

So here it is....our sticker chart. But what do you think? Is this a silly concept? Is there a better idea? I am open to suggestions.

Yes I do know that one is not facing the way it should but I cant seem to upload it correctly. It is correct in my picture file. Ugh, life is hard sometimes.

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Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

I've used sticker charts before, and they've worked for me. Consistency is important! Don't be too hard on yourself--we've all had these moments. I always ask myself, "Is this a hill I want to die on?" Is it a worthwhile fight, or something that doesn't matter in the long run? Choose your battles. Keep a smile on your face, you're going through a lot right now!

Beth said...

Sounds like a good idea to me!