Friday, June 12, 2009

Good/Bad News

So the good news is.....I don't have Cancer!

The bad news is that I have high grade dysplasia in the section of my colon called sigmoid colon....which isn't good.

I have had UC for over 10 years.....this puts me at a point that I could start to develop cells due to my degenerating organ that are well...... prone to cancer.

As previously stated....I have high grade dysplasia.

I will get cancer at some point.

When is that point...we don't know but my body is on its way to developing it.

Surgery, surgery is in my future.

I won't get cancer (at least in this part of my body) if I have the surgery.

So I have struggled with this news all week. I have cried. I have tried to be so busy that I cant think about it. I have prayed. I have not prayed. I have yelled. I have lost my temper. I have tried to be brave. I have tried to find ways to "save" myself from my destiny.

At this point nothing seems to be helping. I feel very strange inside, I cant really put my finger on how to explain how I feel.

Lance and I went to see a surgeon today. The first of many in a very short period of time I imagine. I was not a fan of what I heard although I knew in my heart and mind (from having been educated on my disease) that what I would hear would most likely be the only route for me.

So now I process. I process what Dr. P said to me today. Then on Monday we go to visit Dr. A.
I know that they wont say anything too different, it will all be in how it is said. But for now I feel like I need to hear more than one or two doctors dictate my fate.

God willing I will know which surgeon to choose and that his/her hands, heart and mind will be guided by God as he/she cares for me.

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PS. Thank you Michelle for lovingly caring for my babies today.


Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

So glad it's not Cancer. I'm praying for you, for strength, and for your family.

Jennifer said...

Prayers are going out to ya. God bless.

bass family said...

Been waiting for the update. Praying for you. Wish I could do more, but then again, that's the best thing I could possibly do, right? Sometimes hard to remember that. Hang in there! Please keep us posted!

Beth said...

I'm so relieved it's not cancer and I pray for a smooth surgery and recovery! You are so brave and strong and I know you will get through this. You have so many people who love you and have been and will continue to pray for you and your family! Sending {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} your way!

Its A Corny Life... said...

ML, we have been thinking about you and praying for you. I am glad to hear you spoke to a second doctor today. And I am glad he said it is not that ugly "c" word. You will get through this. We will be here every step of the way for you. I will come there to help if I can in any way...when you have surgery, during recovery...whatever. If and when you need me I will be there. Dysplasia is not an easy dianosis, I know first hand. I may have had it in a different organ, but the surgery to make it go away saved me from cancer, and I know it will you too. I know there are lifelong consequences to having the surgery...but it sure beats the alternative. I am here for you...even if I am thousands of miles away.

I love you my friend, and we are praying for you!.


mamatutwo said...

ML, praying for you and your peace and comfort during such a tough time. Thank goodness for this diagnosis now instead of something else later! God bless!

Savvy Little Women - Kate said...

Praying for you! Hope you are having a great weekend & getting some rest. Hang in there!

yvette said...

You are stronger than you think you are to have come this far and your friends, family, and God are here for all you need! In prayer for all of you.